Just. As. I. Am.

Four simple words to say. If only it were that easy.

Most people struggle with self-acceptance.  Just look at the latest New Year's resolution lists and you'll see millions of people who have a list of things that they want to change.

The problem is, for most people, that list is the same as it was last year. And the year before that. And the year before that.
 
Einstein said that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".   He was on to something (he was a pretty smart man after all).
 
But perhaps what needs modification are not the external factors in our lives, but the internal ones.  The ones that we try to hide and cover up.  The ones that don't make it on the covers of our social media sites.  The ones that don't pass our personal test to show to the world.  It is often these internal struggles that are our biggest demons.
 
But there is power in knowing that you are all that you need to be. Nothing extra. No fluff. No quick fix plan needed.  You.  Alone.  With all of your strengths and your flaws.  With all of your deep dark skeletons in the closet that nobody knows about.  With your joys and your hurts.  And yes, even your mistakes.
 
Too many times people look to others to determine who they are.  We create social comparisons based on who has the nicest car or who lives in the best ZIP Code.  But therein lies the danger.
 
If you forget that you are beautifully made just as you are, life will knock you down every chance it gets.  Like a spectator at a tennis match you will end up looking left and right, and then left again, to determine who you are and where you are going.  If all of our efforts are to keep up with the Jones', we will all too soon discover that social status does not provide the happiness and state of contentment that we thought.
 
And if you find your validation by comparing yourself to others, you will always come up short. Feeling empty.  Feeling "less than".  Lottery winners are often miserable after winning, with many reporting that they wished that they never won. 
 
But there is an even greater danger.  If we are not careful, we inadvertently teach our children to value the search for what we are searching for.  We run the risk of teaching them that possessions are what make someone valuable.
 
And our children begin to value things rather than people. Possessions rather than relationships.  And the cycle continues.  The reality is that most people go through life searching for validation.  But where and how you search is key.
 
Possessions don't add value.  You are not what you have.  People's opinions of you---where you come from, your ZIP Code, your past--- don't define you. 
 
So, the question is:  who are you really?   In the core of your being - your true inner self  - without contamination by the world's expectations and pressures.
 
Perhaps the biggest challenge is having the courage to look inside to find the answer to this question.  And then responding to where it leads you...
 
And, if you dig deep and allow yourself the courage to be vulnerable, you will find that you are more than enough.
 
Just. As. You. Are.
 
© 2016 by Dr. Kelly Graves. All rights reserved.

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